I don't know how

I honestly don’t know how to fucking stop making myself feel this way. Because I know this is my fault. 
No one else is keeping me awake at night making me think of the past and think of happy memories and painful ones too. 
No one is making me constantly check social media to watch his or her every move. 
No one is making me do and feel things I know I shouldn’t.

I’m doing it to myself.

And I don’t know how to stop. 
It just feels like there’s this empty void in my life that I’m trying to fill but I can’t figure out what to fill it with. So I keep going from guy to guy or turn to smoking or what the fuck ever I can think of just to make the thoughts go away. 
But none of it ever works. 
Because I can’t get swishers and the guys never like me. 
And that just increases the feeling of inferiority and thought that I’m not good enough for anyone.

I just want it all to stop. 
I want to be happy with myself again. 
I just don’t know how.