Rabu, 12 November 2014

SEPTEMBER YOU AND ME

September 20014
     Happy september for you and also for me. it's another year with another september, another full whole month thinking of you. sepetember is usually a month with rains. and that's also another reason why september so special for us. 


September for you 
     It's pretty obvious isn't it, you were born on september. yes, of course september is so special for you, september 26, right? yeah, i do know your birthday date, actually that date stuck on my mind and i seem can't forget about that date.
september... i don't know that much about you and september, beside that's your birth month.



September for me 
       September has a different meaning for me since 2003, no it's not as special month as you are. i don't know how special september for me or maybe its not special at all. but i can't help but notice that i'll waiting for september to come since january hits.
      For me september is the beginning and the ending, how september so cruel turning my life become more miserable and pathetic is just the beginning. september is also the last time i saw you, which is the ending of my dream world and happiness.
but don't worry i got used to it, i'll always welcome september with smile because i know you are and it because september is our special month of the year.



You and me 
       We're not a couple, we're not a friends either. we're just a strangers that once met because the cruel fate set us up. the funny thing is its was the most happy time of my life


 September and you 
     If there's a things in my life that i can't avoid or seem to forget is probably you and september. it's so obvious, everytime i tried to remember the last time i was happy or smile, i'll always end up thinking about you, yeah, you were a part of my happy moments, that's why i can't forget you. cause i won't forget my happy time when i was happy.
     And as for september, its always come every years right after augustus ends, that's why i can't avoid it no matters how much i want.



September you and me 
       We are different people that shared the same moments on september, tears, laughs, sad and joys at the different world. but somehow september is the only thing that always remains me of you. 

   

Selasa, 04 November 2014

Melupakan Dirimu

Kau menyuruhku untuk melupakanmu, dan kau berharap aku akan melupakanmu.
Maafkan aku,
aku ingin melupakanmu tapi aku tidak bisa melakukannya
Didalam hidupku aku memiliki prinsip, dimana apa yang telah aku putuskan apapun itu aku tidak akan mundur dan membatalkan sebuah langkah dalam kehidupan atau sebuah pertandingan seperti permainan catur.
Sama dengan Perasaanku, hanya jika aku yakin, maka aku tidak akan mudah ragu, tidak peduli apapun hasil akhir dari kehidupan atau pertandingan itu, aku tidak bisa berbohong padamu, kepada dunia dan kepada bintang di langit.
Meskipun aku mengetahui bagaimana keadaan dirimu sebenarnya, baik buruknya dirimu, namun aku tetap diam selama 20 tahun untuk memenuhi kesetiaanku padamu sebagi wanita yang selalu mencintai dirimu.
Dari dulu sampai detik ini aku tidak pernah peduli seperti apapun hasilnya nanti, paling tidak aku ingin menjadi wanita yang berguna dan bisa di ingat selalu oleh dirimu saat aku tidak berada di depan dan di sisi dirimu.
Kini kau meninggalkanku bahkan tanpa memberitahukanku, kau memilih bersanding dengan wanita lain, aku tidak merubah sedikitpun dengan apa yang telah aku putuskan, meskipun aku tidak dapat hidup bersama denganmu, aku akan hidup tanpa cinta dan aku hidup sendiri sepanjang sisa hidupku.
Aku tidak pernah menyesali apa yang telah aku putuskan, aku tak pernah menyesali telah memilihmu, aku tak pernah menyesali telah mencintaimu, meskipun hanya sedikit aku tak pernah menyesalinya, dan meskipun aku tahu kau tak pernah mencintaku sedikitpun.

Mengingat Dirimu

Di dunia ini hanya ada satu matahari dan satu bulan, maka di dalam hidupku hanya ada satu cinta.
Untuk bertemu denganmu lagi, aku sangat bahagia, meskipun aku hanya diberi waktu satu detik.
Saya berpikir tentang dirimu hanya di hatiku, kamuvtelah meninggalkanku.
Apakah aku harys melupakanmu ? Tapi sampai detik ini aku masih mengingat dirimu, dan ketika aku ingin mengingatmu, aku akan melupakan segala sesuatu tanpa ada jarak dalam hitungan detik.
Saya tidak ingin melupakan dan saya juga tidak ingin untuk mengingat dirimu, maka akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk hanya ingat dirimu telah meninggalkanku seorang diri.

Biarkan aku melupakanmu

Izinkan aku tuk perlahan coba lupakanmu
Aku tahu, kau pasti menginginkannya
Namun, dalam hati kecilku ini masih bertanya
Apakah tak ada lagi setitik cinta tersisa dihatimu?

Setelah semua kenangan indah yang kita ciptakan?
Setelah semua memoriku didominasi olehmu

Maaf bila ku membuatmu tersakiti
Katakan saja memang benar aku telah menyakitimu
Karena, aku bukan orang yang mampu mengerti letak dimana salahku…

Mengapa kau diam saja?
Mengapa kau acuhkan saja diriku?
Atau memang begitu caramu mencapakkannya?

Aku sadar
Mungkin, dalam perjalanan panjang cinta kita kau pun juga telah menyadarinya
Bahwa ku tak pantas untukmu

Aku hanyalah serpihan debu yang tak berarti
Sedangkan dirimu,
Bagai laksana putra dewa

Izinkan aku, untuk mencoba melupakanmu
Bila kau tak ingin adaku disini

Jumat, 04 Juli 2014

Alternative Reality World

I don't know what to write every times i say "alternative reality world" because it obviously didn't happens in real world.
alternative reality world just happens in those movies i watched. 
I always want to know what it looks like to life in alternative reality world. according to the movies, it was a cool worlds. but I will bet mine is not that cool.
I don't know why, i'm just sure of it... maybe it's because i know that my life isn't movies that has alternative reality world on it... heheheee i know, i watch too much movies :)

Despite that all, i still do want to see my life in that world, just to see if he in it.
Yeah... i know how pathetic that, still chasing and hoping for a guy that doesn't even remember me or worst, he doesn't even know me at all the beginning. 

Speaking of him, it get me to think that no matters where i am, i can't never be able to stop thinking about him. he's the main menu of my life, reality and alternative reality world.

So,alternative reality world are you even real? pleaselet me know so i can see what my life would be in your world :)

Selasa, 01 Juli 2014

no tittle

it's been a while since i wrote on here, i still don't know why.
i've had a lot to say and to write but i can't find a perfect words to describe it and change it into some beautiful paragraph without ruins it.

i know ever since i have journal all i write about is about him, yeah the one and only.
it seems not fair, after all this time i still write about him and he just keeps forgetting me.
it almost seems like he never know or met me, well, the never know part is true, cause he never know about me, but still the time i've had with him was the best time of my life

i don't know what to do with this feeling that i've been carry for the last 8 years, i don't want to move on nor forgetting him, but the feeling, i starting feels like it fade away.

so tell me, if you read this, tell me, what should i do with this feeling?
it's my feeling for you that i keeps alive, so tell me, because i don't know what should i do?
you, yeah you, the guy from 3b SLTP 14, 8 years ago...
help me!!